A foxy stoat, parading in the ads of the local paper

Engulfed in pheromones, everywhere!

Madame Swish, nowhere to be seen

All Richie has is Eddie, oh how mean!

That vast slug Eddie

Still about and Richie can’t get ready

Been dying to wash his shirt

To get to the Lamb and Flag to flirt, flirt, flirt!

Birds, he bellows, here Richie comes!

Prowling in tight pink hot pants

Ready to shake his stoaty bum

Eddie watches unamused from the bar

Richie doesn’t care, too busy ogling near and far.

Some cheese and onion Union Jack ticklers

And half a pint of mild -

Yes please, barkeep!

Richie’s going wild, wild, wild!

Natasha Haidar © 2018